In this eye-opening episode of Let Her Speak, Jess is joined by Dr Roger McFillin, a clinical psychologist known for challenging the status quo in mental health. Together, they dive deep into the alarming reality that many children are being misdiagnosed, overmedicated, and misunderstood by a system that prioritises labels over true healing.
Dr McFillin pulls no punches. As someone who has worked for decades inside the system, he shares why the current approach to children’s mental health is often doing more harm than good. Parents are searching for answers, desperate to support their kids, but are frequently led into a system that reduces complex emotional experiences into diagnoses and medications. The result? A generation of children who are being taught that their feelings are disorders, and that pills are the answer.
The conversation gets right to the root of the issue: we’re treating behaviours instead of understanding the child. Jess and Dr McFillin explore how early attachment wounds, trauma, environmental stressors, and nervous system dysregulation are often at the core of what gets labelled as anxiety, depression, ADHD, or defiance. But instead of addressing those root causes, children are given labels and medication — and their families are left to manage the fallout.
One of the most powerful takeaways from this episode is that diagnosis should never be the end of the story. In fact, Dr McFillin argues that many diagnoses are descriptive, not explanatory. They name the symptom, but they don’t tell us why it’s happening or what to do about it.
Jess shares how this lands with many of the mothers she works with, especially those who are already navigating feelings of guilt, overwhelm, and fear. It’s easy to default to what the system says is “right,” especially when you’re exhausted and want the best for your child. But what if the best thing isn’t another diagnosis, but a deeper look at the environment the child is living in, the stress their nervous system is holding, or the disconnection they’re feeling?
Dr McFillin offers a more hopeful and holistic alternative. He speaks about the power of attunement, safety, and connection — and how parents can be the most effective support system when equipped with the right tools. He doesn’t villainise parents or even the professionals working inside the system. But he urges all of us to slow down, ask better questions, and consider the long-term implications of labeling children too quickly.
This episode is a must-listen for any parent who feels in their gut that there has to be a better way. It’s also for educators, therapists, and anyone working with children who wants to move away from the medical model and toward a more relational, nervous-system-informed approach.
Key themes covered:
- Why so many childhood diagnoses are rooted in environment, not disorder
- The hidden costs of overmedicating children
- The importance of co-regulation and relational safety
- How to build resilience with your child, not around them
This isn’t about blame. It’s about reclaiming your role as the expert in your child’s life.
Dr McFillin’s message is clear: your child is not broken. There is wisdom in their behaviour. When we pause, get curious, and focus on connection instead of control, everything begins to shift.
