And what you really need to feel like yourself again
We throw the word burnout around all the time.
“I’m so burnt out.”
“This week’s been a total burnout.”
“I’m crawling out of a burnout season right now.”
It’s become the default explanation for when we’re exhausted, depleted, and running on empty—but what if what we’ve been calling burnout isn’t actually burnout at all?
In this post, I want to challenge everything you think you know about burnout. Not because your experience isn’t real (it is), but because the stories we’ve inherited about what causes it—and how to fix it—are broken.
Burnout Isn’t About Doing Too Much
It’s about doing everything but what lights you up.
Burnout doesn’t show up just because your calendar is full or because you’ve skipped a few green smoothies. It doesn’t creep in simply because you’ve been “too busy.” If it did, we could all cure it with a few days off and a massage.
But we’ve all tried that—and still found ourselves back in the same cycle.
Here’s what you should know:
Burnout happens when your life is out of alignment.
When you’re constantly saying yes to everyone else’s needs, but not your own.
When you’re showing up in ways that disconnect you from your true self.
When every day feels like a performance instead of expression.
It’s not about overwork. It’s about under-fulfillment.
Why “Self-Care” Isn’t the Cure
(And can sometimes make it worse)
We’ve been sold a lie that burnout is just a lack of self-care.
Drink more water. Go to yoga. Wake up earlier. Add another thing to the list.
But if that list is built on the same noise and pressure that caused the burnout to begin with, it just becomes another performance. Another to-do.
Real healing starts with this question:
Where am I living in misalignment with who I truly am?
Until you answer that, the bubble baths and early mornings won’t change a thing.
Your Nervous System Isn’t Broken—It’s Trying to Protect You
Burnout is also deeply tied to your nervous system.
When we grow up in environments where we feel like we’re “too much” or “not enough,” our nervous system creates survival strategies. We learn how to behave, speak, and show up in ways that will keep us safe.
The problem?
Those strategies don’t disappear. They become how we live.
And over time, that constant survival mode wears us down. It disconnects us from joy. It numbs us from meaning. It blocks us from accessing the very parts of ourselves that would bring healing.
If you’re always exhausted, it might be because your nervous system is still playing a role you’ve outgrown.
Breaking the Cycle Starts with One Small, Brave Choice
The good news? You don’t have to burn it all down to feel better.
Start here:
- Say no to something that’s draining you
- Say yes to something that brings you back to life
- Get honest about what no longer feels like you
True rest doesn’t come from escape—it comes from coming home to yourself.
One Client’s Story (and a Reminder That You Have a Gift)
I had a client recently who told me she didn’t know what she brought to her friendship group. “I’m just the loud one,” she said.
But then she did something incredible.
She created a ritual for her friends: 30 minutes to vent, followed by a conversation starter that helped them go deeper. A space to talk about themselves—who they are, not just what they do.
And suddenly, her “loudness” became leadership.
She stopped hiding, and her gift came alive.
What might happen if you stopped hiding yours?
Final Thought: Burnout Isn’t Your Fault, But It Is Your Signal
If you’ve been feeling like joy is far away, like you’re a shell of the person you used to be—know this:
There’s nothing wrong with you.
Your survival system has been doing its job.
But now… it’s time to make a new choice.
One that leads you home.
